Chapter 8: Lurkers (And The Importance of Letting Them Lurk)

For quick reference to those of you new to streaming to a point where you don't know a lot of stream lingo, a lurker is a viewer who comes into the chat and watches, but doesn't talk.

Be it shyness, just watching the gameplay and simply not wanting to socialize, they speak another language, any number of reasons may be apparent for if someone is lurking.

It also can be considered stream lingo for AFK (away from keyboard for those less versed on that also) in the context of someone who has been speaking in chat but has to step away for a bit, thus going 'on the lurk'.

Back when I first started streaming, I greeted every person who entered my chat because I wasn't familiar with lurking, and once I learned the hard way? I felt like an inconsiderate ass.

In hopes of keeping others from making my mistake, it may be hard because you WANT to be nice and overall a good host. Pretty much the very things I've been trying to teach you up to this point.

But don't greet your viewers unless they are a regular or a mod (aka someone who has spoken in your channel to where you know they are comfortable), and even then I would suggest waiting until they speak first.

I know, I know, it sounds like a douche thing to do especially given prior to now I've spoke on how much disdain I harbor towards streamers who ignore their viewers and treat them solely as numbers and thus a means to an end.

But truthfully? Greeting them in this case is rude, even if you don't mean for it to be.

So which is it? Do you talk to them or ignore them?

Both when it comes to a lurker. And while that may seem like a paradox? Let me elaborate.

Greeting a potential lurker means they will likely leave the chat because they feel pulled from their comfort zone and like they are being forced to reply. It puts unwanted pressure on them.

Indeed, this is the occasion where its ok to ignore the viewer because its out of respect and consideration for them.

Now to be honest, there are those new to streaming on the viewer side of the content creation coin who think that a streamer is supposed to greet everyone and may get offended if the streamer doesn't address them, thus leaving due to that without understanding that the streamer isn't actually being rude.

Sadly, you can't tell these apart from actual lurkers who don't want to be put on the spot, but at the same time if they want you to talk to them then its their place to say something as well.

I've even had some get vocal, one example being a viewer who said quote 'Talk to me, ass' which resulted in them being of course banned.

Before we move on, such situations with more aggressively vocal types who pretty much demand that you to talk to them? Before you think 'ok I feel bad because they wanted me to talk to them and I just ignored them' you have to remember that its a two way street.

Be it if they had an understanding of lurking or not? Human being's are social creatures and thus have a general grasp of talking to other humans, with the word hello being one of the most quickly and commonly learned words in whichever language it's spoken.

Short version? If someone comes into your chat and wants you to talk to them but expresses such in a toxic manner? You don't owe them an apology when they were fully capable of giving a polite hello like anyone else who has the cognitive thinking skills to learn words and operate a keyboard to type those words.

That example I listed? That's not how a viewer goes about getting a conversation. Quite the opposite of course.

If a complete stranger who you have never met before was passing you on the stream and they said 'what's up bitch?' of course you would consider it rude.

The simple fact is though, some people simply don't want to be called out and just want to watch a streamer without being addressed.

That being said, let them speak when and if they are ready to talk but otherwise? Let them just hang out as a silent observer.

I wanted to make this section not just because I wanted to educate people on what a lurker is, but also because I've met streamers who felt like lurkers should speak if they came by and found it 'creepy' if someone hung out in their chat for extended periods without saying anything.

I've also met some content creators who outright stated in their bio that they 'encouraged a active chat, which meant NO lurkers'.

There's no excuse for such a mindset and its unfair to the viewers because again, they may have any number of reasons for their silence including just having a bad day, so they found someone playing a game they liked, sat back, and watched them play it in silence which quite possibly was their way of coping with their personal struggles.

Making it out like they have no right to be there if they don't speak? That's only going to make them feel worse compared to you showing some gratitude to the fact that out of the many (hundreds of thousands even if you're on Twitch) other streamers live that they could give their time and thus a view to? They chose you. Honestly if you put your own wants of an active chat or more 'hype' streams before the needs of a viewer who just isn't ready to be social at the time? You don't deserve them and the times I've seen streamers exhibit this kind of attitude? That was the last time I visited their channel be it if they called me out before I spoke or someone else.

And creepy? That's more along the lines of someone you may have had a prior issue with that you banned, yet they keep coming around, or maybe even an ex or someone else you know personally that's stalking you.

I've had experience with both and obviously the difference is night and day between someone you've banned that you want nothing to do with, compared to someone not conversing who may at some point be around as a supporter if you give them time to open up and ease into your personal network at their own pace.

For someone that you don't know? Its best to not judge unless they try and start something with you. From there? timeout/ban and move on.

Again, for all you know you could be someone's safety net for a bad fall they've taken.

I've had a couple occasions where someone opened up to me after hanging in a few streams and stated that they had been struggling with suicidal thoughts but I cheered them up.

Some might say that in such occasions the viewer may be pulling a streamer's leg but at the same time? One never knows. Look at how many events of suicide occur in the world because someone didn't want to take someone's pain's seriously.

Which also makes calling someone 'creepy' for not talking especially uncalled for when lots of people don't open up about their mental health because they're scared of judgment in the first place. So why would a lurker that is possibly an individual struggling with a internal war want to speak to someone who's so quick to make said judgments?

So no, you should never put down someone for lurking without knowing their reasons, especially when being rude to someone for such could also be what pushes them past a point to no return.

Some might say 'well they should go get professional help instead of watching a livestream' but I also know from experience with my own mental afflictions that getting such help isn't always easy for everyone.

I've always had a rule in place for letting lurkers lurk without question. This way other people in my chat will respect their privacy and not call them out for not speaking. If someone does so while knowing those rules? Warning, timeout, or ban depending on if they've done it before or not. I've had such happen before with viewers tagging others in my chat who haven't spoke or outright saying 'why aren't more people talking?' with me stopping my gameplay to tell them to tone it back.

Some of your future followers will start out as lurkers and eventually they may become regulars who speak to you more than some of your more seasoned regulars do at times. Just make sure that if you see a random name pop up in chat? Pretend they aren't there because quite possibly that's what they want you to do, and its not a steep request to grant. They're still giving you their time regardless and its a view to help your current stream out. If someone follows? Thank them and possibly tell them if they want to keep lurking that's entirely ok, but otherwise leave it up to them when and if they talk.

Be thankful when they could be anywhere else other than your chat because honestly? No viewer has to give us streamer's their time let alone should they be made to feel bad for not talking.

And if they never speak before they leave and likely never come back? That's their choice too.

I'm not to everyone's taste nor are you or any other streamer, so sometimes people are going to leave simply because for whatever reason only known to them? Your content didn't appeal to their interests which again as I've said before in my talk about discouragement, doesn't mean you're a bad streamer. And for all you know they may change their mind later and give you another shot.

Either way, a person who likes apples is gonna eat apples but a person who hates lettuce is not going to eat lettuce and them's the breaks. You can only focus on what's in front of you.

Just remember to stay considerate of those who for whatever reason don't speak starting off because not speaking doesn't mean they aren't human.

Let them do so when and if they choose to.